life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I would fuck him just for his dog
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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