hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
