I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Terrible idea I love it
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
