sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
