finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
