Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
