Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
