He asked me if I "almost moaned"
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
