I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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