if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize