Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
