youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Randomize
