it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize