It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
