i'm lost and i look like a hooker
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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