carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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