Already got asked if we're dating
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
