He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
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