It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Randomize
