last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize