I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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