A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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