Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
