It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
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