your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Randomize
