Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
