just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
