I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
