I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
