hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
