Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Randomize
