I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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