So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
