i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
i believe in u and ur pee
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
