Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
