I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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