im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
