please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
