Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
