well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
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