I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
