The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize