I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
