Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
