I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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