I want to walk on stilts...naked
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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