I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
