she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
