Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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