What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize