I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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