no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Randomize
