so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
