does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
