My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
