all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
