thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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