she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
