it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
