She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
