Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
