Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
