I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
